Frustrated

Rushing three assignments in one day ain't fun at all. Plus my back is so painful now... I wonder when will all these come to an end :'(

Letting go.

Last month, today. And this is what God told me today:

Letting go of the past is not easy, especially if you have wounds that have never properly healed. But, the past is past and living there may be preventing you from fully experiencing the present. Likewise fear of what may be looming around the corner can also prevent you from fully enjoying the present. Live in the moment and look forward to eternity with God, now that's a great present.

Thank You for your unfailing love, and I will put my confidence in You always. I love you Jesus.

Must I cry myself to sleep every night? I'm exhausted from crying...

It ended where we started... Strangers, again. But am thankful to know you and you taught me many things, I know one day when I look back I am still thankful no matter how painful it seems to be right now. Wish you all the best in life. Take care.

My life is screwed up.

"I love you"?

"I love you" only when you behave.

"I love you" when you do things according my way.

"I love you" when you don't go against me.

"I love you" when you say only nice things about me.

"I love you" when you are emotional stable.

"I love you" when you don't bug me and give me least inconveniences.

"I really love you".

I feel so miserable right now. Everything is a mess right now. I don't feel loved by you nor my family, especially mum. Perhaps, some wounds just won't heal. Those bad memories come back once in a while to haunt you. I am so tired to have to pretend that I am strong. Pretend that I am ok, pretend that everything is fine. I am tired...

And you, who are you trying to please? Everyone? I wish you would just disappear from my life, because I don't like you at all.

Can't stop crying, I wonder how long I can stand...

Anger management

As I grow older, I slowly realised that I can't act like a kid nor talk like a kid. Sometimes when you happen to be very very angry, you don't bang the door or throw things because you know you're an adult, not a kid anymore.

Recently, I really have a problem with that. I feel so suffering to hold all that anger inside and I dont know where to release them. Sometimes I become so angry that I keep accusing myself for being angry and cry my heart out under the blanket. Can anyone tell me how should I handle them in a christian way? Cuz its really wearing me out.